Selfless vs Unselfish

What is the opposite of selfish?

Which word makes a better answer; Unselfish or Selfless?

A friend of mine asked me recently about some perfume he was buying for his wife. The question sounded innocent enough but I know my friend better than that. He wanted to know what I thought about what defines selfishness and unselfishness when it comes to gift giving. “Is it selfish of me to give my wife a perfume that I really like? It’s pretty expensive.”

That question got me thinking about the definitions (and nuances of definition) of a few words; selfish, unselfish and selfless.

Is unselfish and selfless the same thing?

Can a person be selfish and selfless?

Can a person be generous and selfish?

Can a selfless act have selfish motives?

Can an unselfish act have selfish motives?

I have some thoughts on the matter and some ways to think it through but I am curious about what you think. Click below and leave your comments. I will post some of the best ones along with my on thoughts in a subsequent posting in the next few days.

James 3:16

It's good to have ambition, right?

How do you tell (as a pastor or leader) when your ambition is sin?
Here are a few questions to get you started:

1. Do I use ministries to get people done or do I use people to get ministry done?
2. Do I look at other church websites, blogs, etc. in a desire to be more like that church, pastor, ministry etc.
3. Do I expect congratulations for things I do well? Do I feel down when not recognized for something I did well?
4. As an organization, do we hold on to our best people or are our best people departing?
   
5. Am I trying to be like someone else? Am I trying to make my church look like some other church?
   
6. How much time do I spend thinking about the giving levels at my church?
7. Do I really want to grow the church for Christ's sake or is that just what I tell others while I really want to increase the number of potential servers and givers?
8. Do I think more about what Christ is doing in the lives of the members or about what I (we, the "church") could do if we had just a little more (money, attenders, volunteers).
9. Do I really think what members financially give to my church is a good measurement of their commitment (or lack thereof) to Christ or do I just realize the pragmatic reality of our need for cash?
10. Does personally making more money ever come to mind when I think of what my church needs or improvements I would like to see?
11. Do I feel like I don't have enough control over what happens in my church and would I like to have more?
12. Am I a perfectionist?
13. Will I make a course correction if it means personal loss (money, prestige, ideas, control, etc)?
14. Do I use the words, "I, me, my" a lot from the pulpit?
    

Here is a quote from a book by Dan Allender to think about:

If you don't have the capacity to confess; acknowledging in real time how much you mess up, the result will be a workplace that becomes more cowardly and staff members that grow more self-committed, more closed to you and to one another and more manipulative. They will look out for themselves; not for you or the organization or their colleagues.

That's the strange paradox of leading. To the degree that you attempt to hide or dissemble your weakness, the more you will need to control those you lead; the more insecure you will become, the more rigidly you will impose; prompting the ultimate departure of your best people.

Be Afraid

I listen to an absurd number of podcasts.

Recently, a pastor from Acts 29 Network named Darrin Patrick said some things worth thinking about.

He was addressing pastors and leaders at a church-planting conference. His talk was on the topic of being centered on the gospel of Jesus Christ and not centered on buildings, programs, numerical growth and other secondary things that many pastors spend so much time on. He was pressing the importance of confession of sins, faults, frailties and weaknesses and our being able to recognize when we are trying to hide them.

Here are the quotes:

"I am afraid that my gospel proclamation is better than my gospel application"
"I am afraid that my skill growth is outpacing my character growth"
"I am concerned for myself that my pastoral passion is yielding to professionalism"
"I am concerned for you that you will settle for a church instead of a movement"

What are you afraid of?

Where's Waldo?

You've heard of "Where's Waldo?" right? Well, this image is called "Where's The Church?"

Can you see it? If you squint your eyes just right and rotate the image it's easier. Can you see the steeple? How 'bout that small cross on the side wall? The open doors with the pews inside?
Still can't see it?

Well, that's because it isn't there. Furthermore, that's not a church. It may be a building where a local church gathers for some purpose or other, but it is not a church. A church may do some type of ministry in a building like that but it is not a church. Repentance, salvation, the person and work of Christ may be preached in a building like that but it is not a church.

The reason it is not a church is because they are the church. Church is not an it, it's a who. That's right. It turns out that the best place to hide is in plain sight.... Where's the church?

You're looking at it.

No Justification

"If it isn't human, no justification for abortion is necessary. If it is human, no justification is adequate."

Pretty simple thought.

Check out a very insightful interview between Mike Huckabee and Kathy Ireland at the link below.

http://vodpod.com/watch/1528667-kathy-ireland-on-abortion

Opening Thought

Some things are worth thinking deeply about. Maybe that would be better said this way: Many things worth thinking about are worth thinking deeply about.

Thinking in Community is about exactly that. Thinking deeply about things worth thinking about.
But it's more than that. It's thinking together about things worth thinking about.

I have a thought:
Generally speaking, people don't think enough. I mean people don't take the time and spend the energy necessary to really think about things that matter. Personally, I don't want to repeat what others say about important topics for lack of my own thoughts on the subject. I don't want to rely on the opinions of others simply because I haven't formed my own. I don't want to listen to those who are trying to please the maximum number of people, tax payers, voters, party members, church members, club members, etc. with lots of words and little content.

Thought #2:
The reason people don't think, is that they have not been taught to think. I believe thinking carefully is a skill. It can be learned. It can be improved upon. But thinking is hard work. It takes time. It takes effort. It is often not easy. It can even be painful. However, coming to one's own well thought-out conclusion on a given subject is foundational in the pursuit of truth. It's not the only step, but it is an important step.

Let us think together.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
(2Corinthians 10:5)

God's Pie Video

How big is God's slice of your pie?