Tip 20: Summarize Key Points.
Many people will find it instructive if you can recap some of the more important points from the discussion. The end of the session is a natural time to do this, but it's also helpful to do it at the beginning of a group meeting. (Recapping what the group has learned so far) Summarizing is particularly helpful after discussing an especially important or complicated point. Brief, spoken summaries from the leader enhance learning and retention, so take notes during the discussion and bless the group by emphasizing the essential take-aways.
Tip 19: Use a Board or Easel, if Appropriate.
Tracking on a board, the relevant points that people make is a great way of affirming, echoing, and clarifying what's being said. It will also help you to "connect the dots" more easily. Beyond that, many people will retain more of what's said if they've both heard it and seen it in writing.
Tip 18: Stay With Fruitful Conversation, Even If It's Taking Too Much Time.
For group leaders who are especially time-conscious, it's natural to march through a set of questions and make sure everything gets covered in the time allotted. The best group leaders remain mindful, though, that the real goal of the meeting is transformation, not completion.
Sometimes, a question will stimulate lots of discussion. It will go deep; it will touch a chord; it will create excitement; it will surface pains or misunderstandings that need to be addressed; it will plant the seeds of lasting change for people. Avoid cutting off God's work in these situations. Don't be a slave to a script, insisting on covering all the questions in your time together. Some questions may require twenty minutes, others three minutes. So be flexible and learn to discern when to deviate from your original plan.
Tip 17: Allow Silence After You Ask a Question.
Eventually, it'll happen. You'll ask a question and no one will say anything. Avoid the temptation to fill that void with your own voice. Give people time to think. Let them muster the courage to answer a tough question. Give them a moment to hear from God, if that's the prompting they're seeking.
Get comfortable with silence after posing a question. Often, your patience will be rewarded with some of the richest and most poignant answers of the week.
Tip 16: Frame Questions Using "Why" and "How."
Usually, when you ask a question that begins with "why" or "how," people tend to answer with more thoughtful, more extensive responses than if you ask a question that begins with "who," "where," or "when."
Think about it. Questions that begin with these latter words can lend themselves to one or two word answers, right? But try answering a "why" or "how" question with one word. Not likely. If your goal is to get people talking, think about reframing the questions you ask.
Another great question is "Why do you say that?" or "How did you come to that conclusion?" These are great questions to use that will get your group members to think through their responses and the reasons for the beliefs they hold.
Tip 15: Ask for People's Opinions.
"How about someone who hasn't spoken yet?" "Anyone else want to comment on this issue?" "Does anyone have a different perspective on this?"
These and similar questions are non-threatening ways of inviting people into the conversation. Write out some phrases with which you're comfortable and use them at strategic points in your group meetings to draw in quiet group members. Sometimes just this little nudge can be a turning point for people.
Tip 14: Cut Off Dominators.
Let's face it, they're out there. Many groups are blessed with that spirited person who contributes a little too much. And that can diminish the experience for everyone else. Usually, if the leader doesn't take control of this situation, no one will.
One solution is to talk to the person away from the group. It doesn't take much. Start by affirming the positive and then candidly make your request. "Fred, you really have a lot of good stuff to contribute in this study, but I want to make sure that others have an adequate opportunity to share, too. Would you be willing to scale back - at least a little - the number of times you contribute?"
A second way to balance contribution is to simply cut in when the dominator takes a breath, echo what he or she has said to that point (so they know they've been heard), and invite someone to respond to that.
As a last resort, you might say to the group something like: "I don't want you to feel like you're in school, but in the interest of managing this discussion, it would help me if you all would raise your hand when you want to comment." Then regulate the dominator's contributions in a way that's more helpful to the group.
Don't get your chainsaw out unless it's a last, last resort!!
Tip 13: Connect the Dots.
Another way to enhance the flow of discussion is to connect some people's comments to other people's comments. "So Sherry, you think that the verse calls us to action but Dan, two minutes ago, you said you didn't understand it that way. Can somebody else help us out here?" This is good facilitation because it clarifies where you are with the discussion and where you want it to go.
Tip 12: Echo What's Been Said.
This is such an essential facilitation technique! From time to time, you'll find it helpful to restate what somebody has just said - to "echo" it for the group. Echoing not only lets the speaker know that he or she has been understood, it also serves to clarify that person's point for everyone else. Beyond that, echoing makes it more likely that the rest of the group will respond to that person's comment, rather than just following with an unrelated comment.
So, echo comments where appropriate, and then, since you have the floor at that moment, invite commentary on what's just been said. The flow of discussion will improve dramatically.
Tip 11: Listen for Segues to the Next Question.
It's good to know where you want to go next with a discussion. Sometimes you simply have to announce the transition (i.e., "let's turn a corner now and look at the next question"), but the meeting flows more smoothly if you capitalize on natural transition points. Expert facilitators listen closely for comments that connect to where they want to go next and quickly use those comments to move the discussion forward.
Tip 10: Be Sure That Scripture Is Your Filter.
One would think we wouldn't have to say such a thing, but it seems that sometimes, our filters for right and wrong get clouded, even in Christian circles. Some people use their experience as an arbiter of right and wrong. Some are pragmatists, basing the right thing to do on "whatever works."
There are a lot of worldviews infecting Christian thinking these days, so when group members suggest solutions to problems, don't shy away from asking whether their suggestion aligns with Scripture.
If, as group leaders, we persistently come back to the Bible as God's standards, our group members will too.
Tip 9: Stay on Point
This is the downfall of many small groups. One off-point comment gives way to the next, and before you know it, a discussion about the deity of Christ turns into a debate over which basketball player is the greatest ever. (duh, everyone knows it's Kobe! There is no player in the history of the game that can take over the way he does. And who would you want taking the last shot for your team when the game is on the line? He is the best player on the best team. He is constantly evolving his game and continually makes his team better. Just add him to any team and it immediately becomes a contender. All other teams create their entire game-plan with him in mind, knowing that if you can stop him you have at least a faint chance of winning. But I digress...)
Ever been there? My guess is that you know exactly what I'm talking about.
This is a leadership problem more than it's a participant problem. To avoid it, keep the group focused on the question at hand and follow up tangential comments by bringing the group back to the actual question. Everyone benefits when a leader steers the conversation, and everyone suffers when he or she does not.
Tip 20: Summarize Key Points.
